100 Ways to be Kind to Your Child

I like this: http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/

Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Share:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Charades
22. Hop Scotch
23. Board Games
24. Hide & Seek
25. Simon Says
26. Twenty Questions
27. I Spy on long car rides
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A story and then act out the plot.
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To silly songs together.
56. For that question that means your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To let your child pour ingredients into the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smiley face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

Puerto Aventuras day 8

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive - check
Swim in a cenote - check
Visit Mayan ruins

So there was only one thing left on our list: visit Mayan ruins. We could have gone to Tulum but I really wanted to head for Coba - set deep in the jungle. I had a hankering to be Mowgli dancing with the apes, or something. It turned out once we got there that that was exactly what it was like, except to the children apparently it was more like The Road to El Dorado.

Anyway. We got up at the crack of dawn to beat the rush. Stopped at the gas station and saw how many Mexicans were waiting there in the hopes of being picked up for work. Drove down to Tulum then along a surprisingly good road out to Coba - passing villages full of shops selling hammocks, embroidery, coco frio, and more.

Of course it cost more to get into Coba than we'd expected, but it was worth it. We rented bikes, and pedalled off into the jungle.

Ruins everywhere. I would go into the historic details but... um... Google is your friend here.

The kids loved it - climbing over the ruins, looking for vines to swing off, biking on to the next place. Ellie had to head back to the toilet for quite a while at one stage, so Mark, Hannah and I cycled on until eventually we reached the big pyramid.

Luckily there was a shack there selling cold drinks. We were hot, sweaty, and about to climb quite high in the sunshine. We bought a big Gatorade and some Oreos, then tackled the pyramid. Mark held on to the rope going up and down. I did OK without it, but my legs hated me by the time we reached the bottom. Hannah lost her hat halfway down, and ended up climbing off to one side of the pyramid to find it.

Back at the base we smeared suncream over our sweaty selves, swung off a good-looking vine, then cycled off to find ourselves a Mayan ballcourt. The kids immediately yelled 'El Dorado' the minute they saw it.

I was hot, sweaty and basically done at this point - and so was Mark judging by his red face. I took him back to the shop and offered him an ice cream, and nearly fell over when he said no. I insisted.

We now had a decision to make. We had enough pesos to swim in the Gran Cenote on the way home. Or we had enough pesos to have a cheap lunch somewhere. But not enough pesos to do both. We drove around looking for a restaurant that took credit cards (not easy) and eventually found one. Then we drove to the Gran Cenote only to find they'd put the prices up, and we didn't have enough pesos after all. But they took dollars too, so we were OK.

Gran Cenote was our third cenote and again quite different to the others. It has a fairly small swimming area that's open to the sky, but beyond the edges of the open area, the swimming area goes off for ages into caves full of stalagtite, stalagmites, and bats. The depths were being explored by divers while we were there. Every so often you'd see way down below some divers with flashlights, swimming past you, off into the tunnels. 

I impressed myself by swimming into the caves and even under some of the low roofs, swimming underwater on my back gazing back up at the stalagtites (under the bit to the left in the photo below). It really was amazing, even though I'm shuddering thinking about diving through those depths.

While we were there the oddest thing happened. Mike looked over at the family beside us in the water and said 'Raquel.....?' It turned out his old friend Raquel, from Georgetown, was there with her husband and kids. We chatted and laughed and took photos for Facebook. Amazing.

And then it was time to spend the last of our pesos on some very cold and very welcome cans of soda from the snack shop, and drive home. I was completely shattered and slept the whole way, then carried on sleeping on the back seat of the car while the others went for one last Nutella gelato.

And then it was home to pack... 

It was an amazing holiday. We stayed here http://www.vrbo.com/125036 and it was pretty much perfect. We ummed and ahhed about all-inclusives, but they would have cost us so much more. Maybe we'll try them one day. 

Puerto Aventuras day 7

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive - check
Swim in a cenote - check
Visit Mayan ruins

Sunday is the day off for the locals in the Riviera Maya, and we'd been told that cenotes and beaches and ruins would be busy. With Hannah still burnt to a crisp, we played it safe with a quiet morning and lunch at home. Lay on the patio or under a palapa, reading.

It was windy, so the waves were too high for snorkelling but were perfect for playing in the sea and jumping. Mark, Mike and I had a lovely time in the sandy bay by the Omni.

Mid-afternoon we headed out determined to find Cenote Manatee, down near Tulum. We drove down route 307. We drove back up route 307. We drove down again. We drove up again. We asked directions. Eventually we turned off at the signpost for Tankah, along a dusty road, past a lot of villas, and found Cenote Manatee.

It was cloudy, dusty, there were a lot of people there, and the entrance to the cenote is a very small area.

It was very different to the last cenote we'd visited. This one is a river that flows towards the sea, under a road, then bubbles up just off shore. You enter the water just at the bottom of the river before it goes under the road (yes, this totally freaked me out as a claustrophobe), swim upstream as far as you can, then float back down.

Lining the cenote are mangroves, and if you swim alongside the shore you can peer into the roots and see just hundreds of fish - big and small. It's beautiful.

We put on masks and snorkels, and swam up and down, admiring the fish and secretly wondering about crocodiles. The children then hired a double kayak and we repeated the journey, them paddling at top speed and me desperately swimming after them.

It rained a little - which was not a problem at all after a week of bright sunshine.

We really wanted to swim in the sea where the cenote bubbles up, but it was rough and windy, so we gave up. Casa Cenote - the bar - looked kind of disappointing. So we wrapped ourselves in towels and drove back to Akumal to enjoy La Buena Vida once again.

While we sipped our happy hour drinks and thought about what to order, we noticed a turtle swimming in the sea. And then a ray. And then another ray. It was a bit magical.

A mariachi band played, we ate our dinner, we had another drink, the kids swam in the pool and swung in the hammocks. We saw more turtles and rays. It got dark. Too late, it occurred to us that we didn't really want to drive home in the dark...

Puerto Aventuras day 6

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive - check
Swim in a cenote - check
Visit Mayan ruins

Mark wasn't old enough to scuba dive, and Ellie wasn't keen. We looked into taking them swimming with dolphins instead, but it was expensive and looked like a depressing production line. So instead Mike took them to Xplor. 

It describes itself as 'a natural adventure park unique in its kind where you can do thrilling activities in natural outdoor scenery. A day full of fun and safety guaranteed await you in this peculiar underground world'. At $270 for three tickets it had a lot to live up to.

While they disappeared off for their day of fun, Hannah and I went to the farmer’s market for grapefruit, avocado, bread and chocolate cake.

Our walk in and out of the town itself took us along the beach then through a small hotel called the Omni, with swim up bars, beautiful pools and lovely looking restaurants. On a bit of a whim I asked at the desk how much a day pass would be, and immediately bought two.

We nipped home for a beach towel each, some suncream and a good book, then back at the Omni we settled ourselves by the pool in the shade. I swam up to the bar and ordered drinks (the cocktails were reasonable whereas the sodas were bogglingly expensive).

Hannah became rather taken with sunbathing in the pool.

We ate at the beach bar. My fish tacos were pretty meh, but the squid followed by Hannah's steak tacos and fries were the best food I've had in ages. I ordered a mojito and - it being happy hour - I was given two mojitos. Just what you need when it's this hot.

I settled down in shady corner and read my book while Hannah swam in the sea and pool and generally ignored my advice about sun cream and shade. By the time we got home at 3pm, she was burnt to a crisp.

The others got home early evening, full of excitement about their day. They had ziplined for hours, ATVed, swum, and rafted through caves. Mark could not stop talking about it. Again, no photos, but take a look at the Xplor website...

Puerto Aventuras day 5

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive
Swim in a cenote - check
Visit Mayan ruins

Big day today. After spending about 25 years wanting to go scuba diving, I finally got round to it. 

After a lazy morning involving a lot of lying in the shade by the pool and reading a good book or two, Mike headed off with Mark and Ellie to snorkel at Yal-Ku lagoon. 

Hannah and I went off to Aquanauts for our Scuba Discovery course. I was a mixture of excited and terrified. We paid up, watched a video, met Nick our instructor and guide. Chose our wetsuits, then loaded everything up onto the boat. 

Even more nervous.

Met the captains – Victor and Francesco I think? Then we headed to the lagoon to practice some skills eg take out regulator, empty mask, breathe from emergency air supply. The most difficult bit was actually sinking underwater - even with extra weights Nick had to hold my arm to keep me at the bottom of the lagoon. Must be all the blubber.

We passed the test, so then it was out onto the big waves to the dive spot. Luckily it was about two minutes boat ride away, me not being a great boat passenger at the best of times. We did that thing where you put all your gear on so that you feel like a mummy carrying a load of heavy weights, then we all toppled into the water together. And then we went down to the reef.

It was amazing how once you were underwater it all made sense. We went down to 42 feet, where we saw coral, schools of fish of all sizes, a barracuda, a turtle, a couple of puffer fish. I didn't have an underwater camera so here are a few pics I've borrowed from others...

Hannah was totally calm through the whole thing, and it was a real shame when we had to return to the surface and find our boat. I was feeling slightly sick at this point, but after a huge drink of water and taking off the wetsuit I felt much better. 

Back to shore, we washed the saltwater off with a hose on the dock, then said our thank yous and goodbyes, and wandered off quietly plotting our next dive. We went to our favourite gelato shop for a Nutella gelato, then back home where we found Mike.

They'd had a lunchtime trip to Yal Ku lagoon - they weren't over the moon about it but it sounded like fun. Here (again) is a photo I borrowed...

Ate out at Latitude 20 - really like that place. We sat around feeling tired and gazing at our phones while we waited for our food, while large groups of people dressed in glamorous clothes and with drinks in hand turned up and looked like they had exciting lives. Meh.

I walked home through the marina then along the beach with Mark and Hannah - you can't see the dolphins behind them but that is their area.

Naturally once we were at the beach, the only thing to do was jump as many waves as possible, while the sun set, so that by the time we got home I had two bedraggled small people with me, one (Hannah) with a huge cut in her foot.

Puerto Aventuras day 4

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive
Swim in a cenote
Visit Mayan ruins

The wind was up, so the sea was no longer flat. Hannah, Mark and I tried snorkelling but it wasn't any fun, so instead we just rolled around in the waves.

A little later we headed out to Jardin el Eden Cenote, a nearby limestone sinkhole (this area is full of them). We drove down a track through the scrub, passing iguanas and roadrunners, then parked up, grabbed snorkel gear, and hiked the short way down to the cenote. Divers were putting on their tanks, kids were jumping off a cliff, and families were gently floating. It looked like an oasis.

We duly jumped off the cliff, snorkelled around the cenote (which left me slightly weirded out - it had some very deep bits and I'm not good with deep/dark spaces), and experienced the slightly strange sensation of swimming over divers and wondering if the bubbles were them or me.

We'd brought a big bag of crisps but after a while that clearly wasn't going to keep everyone going so it was time to brave the toilets, get changed, then drive on to Akumal. We drove around the pueblo briefly, then into Half Moon Bay.

We were delighted by La Buena Vida restaurant - it had a sandy floor, skeletons, crow's nest, pool, hammocks, and bar swings as well as an amazing location right on the beach. Had a lovely lunch of fish tacos, chile rellenos and tamarindo water. Such a beautiful area. Half Moon Bay seemed like the kind of place to come back to and rent a villa with more people.

The children explored the crow's nests and the hammocks, watched a show where three Mayan men drummed and shouted (Mark was fascinated), then we headed back home via a supermarket that made Wholefoods look like good value, but which had everything we needed including Coco Pops and margarita mix.

Hung out at home, swimming in the pool, and had a big pasta meal for dinner. Later a couple of party boats moored offshore from us and the people on board screamed with excitement non stop for about half an hour. Eventually Mike got out the binoculars then told me it was an all-female party and he was off to join in.

Puerto Aventuras day 3

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel - check
Scuba dive
Swim in a cenote
Visit Mayan ruins

I'd hoped for amazing fruit in Mexico, so this morning Mike, Mark and I hit the farmer's market. It smelled SO good. Bought all sorts of fruit, some of it just based on its smell, as well as some home-made bread that turned out to be delicious. 

Then Mike, Mark and Ellie kayaked while Hannah and I snorkelled. The sea was calm, and we headed quite a way out where we found a beautiful reef with brain coral everywhere. We saw two rays this time, and many beautiful fish. We were out there for a couple of hours, and were shattered by the time we got back to the condo. 

My book (The Goldfinch - very dark!) and the patio (which is almost always shaded) beckoned. For lunch we chopped up grapefruits, ugli fruit, apples, avocado, and guavas.

Later that day we went to Xpu-Ha Beach (pronounced Ish-pu-ha) where apparently they film the Corona commercials. It was full of people, mostly lying on loungers under the umbrellas, enjoying the white sand, turquoise seas, and devilish margaritas.

We rented a couple of loungers under umbrellas at one of the bars, and chatted to our neighbours. The children swam then Mark spotted a turtle swimming right in front of him - next thing there were loads of people around the turtle. A waiter brought us each a margarita - small but potent. Near the brightly coloured bar buildings the kids were delighted to find hammocks.

We were planning on eating dinner at the beach but the bar closed at 6pm so instead we headed back to Puerta and ate pizza and ceviche at Papparazi's, where we (and by that I mean me) were tired and grumpy. I was in bed and asleep by 8pm, snoring to the sound of the ocean.

Puerto Aventuras day 2

To do list for this holiday:
Snorkel
Scuba dive
Swim in a cenote
Visit Mayan ruins

As we explored Puerto Aventuras, we considered signing up for dolphin swimming, snorkelling trips, diving trips, fishing trips, and every other trip imaginable. Everyone wanted to sell us something. Puerto surrounds a marina and dolphin enclosure, with restaurants and shops, and an inordinate number of property rental/sale offices. Mike's personal favourite was Fanny Rental's.

We stopped for a much-needed lunch at Dos Chili's (or is it called Pancho Villa?) including nachos, fish tacos, burgers, and Mike's winner - the garlicky fish. Then walked back through the Omni Hotel and along the beach to our condo.

Our property manager reassured us that Puerto is incredibly safe, so we left Hannah and Ellie at the condo while Mike, Mark and I went snorkelling. Biggest excitement was seeing a ray swimming away from us at high speed. Later I took Mark out in a kayak, which entailed much battling with waves. Then after a home made dinner, Mike took the children out for delicious gelato.

Why is it that the only good photo I have from today is of Mark in a wrestling mask?

Puerto Aventuras day 1

It was a long winter - the snow started in early December and didn't melt until mid-April. I had been working much harder than someone who is officially part time should be working. A holiday in the sun was needed. I booked a condo in Puerto Aventuras on the Maya Riviera in Mexico, and Mike got an amazing airmiles deal on flights. I did a stack of research into things to do, and put together our to do list for this holiday:

• Snorkel
• Scuba dive
• Swim in a cenote
• Visit Mayan ruins

We flew at 6am from Portland to Cancun via Baltimore. Mike managed to get us all business class seats for the longer flight, and I managed to restrain myself to only one cocktail (at 9.30am which felt like about 1pm).

As we'd expected, we had an entertaining time organising car hire and negotiating insurance. As always I was grateful Mike speaks Spanish. We stopped at a gas station for drinks, then drove down route 307 to Puerto Aventuras. Everything was in kilometers, and there were various police checkpoints. We kept passing signs for the various all-inclusive resorts that I'd considered, before deciding that we were better off in a condo right by the sea and pool.

Puerto Aventuras is a gated community, and once we were in we immediately got completely lost. We found a great-looking restaurant called Latitude 20 beside a dolphin enclosure, and it seemed easiest to stop for lunch... or was it dinner? Our body clocks weren't sure. Then we found our condo - the ground floor one on the right in this picture. The photo is taken from the steps down to the beach...

Turned out it hadn't been cleaned because the management company thought we were arriving the following day. We spent a while trying to work out how to call the management company from a US cellphone on a Mexican network (failed), then from a US cellphone using Vonage (succeeded), and eventually arranged for the cleaners to arrive.

The kids swam in the pool first, then I took them snorkelling in the ocean, while the maids hurriedly cleaned and Mike went to the Chedraui supermarket over the road. The beach directly outside the condo had a long shallow stony entrance, so we hiked about 2 minutes north along the beach to the Omni Hotel, and snorkelled from there, where the entrance was soft sand. We saw all sorts of gorgeous fish.

Eventually we all unpacked, stuck the groceries in the fridge and crawled to bed. Exhausted but excited.

Christmas is coming

Non stop weekend. The children sang Christmas carols to the unsuspecting people of Freeport on Saturday, while I raced around the grocery store. Thank you good people of Freeport for basically babysitting my kids.

I picked up my new bike which is LOVELY. I got this one except that between one discount and another, plus a load of $10 gift cards we'd got for buying other bits and pieces, it ended up costing $250, and they gave us another $10 gift card for buying it.

Mark and I tested my new bike (it fits me better) and rode to the various Christmas fairs in Yarmouth. I especially love the fairs in North Yarmouth Academy and the Log Cabin. I learnt that no matter how sunny it looks, if it's 1C then a thin sweater and a cardy really aren't going to be enough.

Picked Ellie up from her party and we all went carol singing at the Yarmouth tree lighting. I'd dressed us all for very cold weather and it wasn't quite THAT cold. Mark was the only one really interested in singing, so we belted out a few carols together and bumped into a fair few lovely friends who we don't see enough of.

Then home for chilli that had been in the freezer since mum's visit in July, with baked spuds. And a lot of relaxing.

Today we sorted our body weight in laundry, and put together our shopping lists for the day. Item #1: shoes that fit Hannah (where do people buy ladies size 11 shoes?).

As is traditional this time of year we went to see The Nutcracker. As always I cried during the Pas de Deux by the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Cavalier. As always we stood in very long lines for the toilets, and as always we were still buying our half time snacks when the warning signs came to go back to our seats. It's good to know nothing changes.

It was 4.30 so we... er... headed to the Maine Mall where we shopped for various concert outfits, then ate dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. We also had a Facetime chat with Mike in England - he'd just spent a lovely day with the Darleys, then with Dave and Elissa and Freddy, then Tiff and Nic.

Afterwards I accidentally got sucked into Eddie Bauer and bought a $200 coat for $120. Hannah did her best to stop me, including threatening to ground me if I bought it.

Fabulous weekend.

Another summer over

Another 11 week summer holiday creaks to a close. The air is starting to gently chill, and although I try to deny it, the leaves are sneaking from green to rusty red.

It's been a hard summer for us as parents, but I think the children had a good time. Mike is opening three hotels in three months, so he has been away every week but one. That left me trying to do a 40 hour working week and manage camp drop offs and pick ups. I had help from my parents, and for the last 3 weeks a nanny, but it's been a struggle.

Next year I hope to be home for the summer with the children, so we can enjoy the summer together. Especially as I can see them changing so fast. Hannah is at the stage where she is mostly to be found in her room reading or listening to music, or out around town on her bike, and I feel her slipping away.

But for all our guilt the children had many amazing opportunities this summer. The girls had two weeks in England with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Meanwhile Mark spent the two weeks with Carl and Nadja in Connecticut being spoiled rotten.

While they were all away Mike and I grabbed the chance to spend a long weekend in Chicago. I got to see the hotel he is building (Harper Court), we ate amazing deep dish pizza and black rice sushi, met up with his business partners, stayed at the Waldorf-Astoria, did a fabulous architectural boat tour (during which we experienced basically all weather other than snow), and explored the city thoroughly.

The kids then all did two weeks of Sail Maine. Hannah loved it. The other two did not. The jury is out on whether they'll carry on sailing.

After a visit from granny Barbara and grandad Mike,including a trip to the rather luxurious Samoset Resort, the kids were back at camp - this time Circus camp. They all loved it. Next time you see them, ask them to demonstrate diablos, trapeze and fabric skills.

At this point our nanny Julia stepped in to help, shortly followed by my old school friend Suzz arriving for 10 days of non-stop talking. Well, we hadn't seen each other in 10 years. We had catching up to do. Meanwhile Hannah and Ellie did four afternoons of horse riding. Mark had quite sensibly decided that horses are fundamentally dangerous (somewhat to my relief - just need to convince the girls now).

Next, the high point of my summer, we all spent a week at Renee's camp on Lovell Lake in New Hampshire. There was the traditional 'silliest jump off the rope swing' competition, a lot of paddling, several late nights round the campfire, and for some reason a lot of cat sick. Lovely week, especially having Su there. Poor Mike had to go off to work for the middle five days.

Saturday we discovered we had to leave a day earlier than expected, but it meant we got to spend Sunday exploring Cape Elizabeth - the Lobster Shack, Crescent Beach, ice cream from Kettle Cove, Portland Head Light. Every summer I wonder why we didn't move to Cape instead of Yarmouth.

Then it was back to work for me. I switched to working part time, and suddenly life became manageable again. While Mark and Ellie explored nearby beaches and swimming pools with Julia, Hannah did a Telling Room camp where the campers explored Portland, stalked people (including various parents), eavesdropped strangers conversations, and used the results to create memorable villains. Hannah's was a witch who knitted her own body bags.

Labor Day weekend is beckoning. We're celebrating John's birthday Saturday  and maybe a trip to Aquaboggan on Sunday. Then middle school for Hannah and Ellie, and back to elementary school for Mark.

Granny Vi

In March I visited Granny Vi for the last time. I spent a week in Kilmarnock, visiting her a couple of times a day at the nursing home where she was being cared for. She was very weak, and I spent a lot of time holding drinks or feeding her bits of cheese or melon. We spent our time chatting, laughing, going through a photo album and reminiscing.

I'd seen granny back in November but at that point she was unwell and we didn't know what was wrong or how to help. I didn't get to spend much time with her, and it was distressing seeing her so unhappy and unwell.

This time it was different. Although occasionally granny was asleep when I visited, during most of our visits she was awake, and her pain was well-controlled, and we got to spend out time close together.

I told granny how much I loved her, how happy she made us as children and adults, and how much we'd all learnt from her. She asked a lot about the children. I can't really describe how it was - I knew it was my last week with granny, and I wanted to spend every moment with her.

We gave her sips of whisky, and I got to know the staff who were caring for her. Occasionally she would get distressed because of the pain, or the indignity of it all, and once or twice she asked us if she would die soon, and we told her she had cancer. But mostly we just sat close to her so she could see and sense us, and talked loudly so she could hear us, and did what we'd always done with granny - had a lovely time.

I last saw her on the last day of March, before my flight back to Boston, then I cried most of the flight home.

She died the day after Mark's 8th birthday, on May the 4th, peacefully and quietly, with Mum and Mike and Bobby there. It was Mark's birthday party that day, so we got through the day - I'd said my goodbyes to granny already so I suppose for me there was mostly a sense of relief that she wasn't suffering any more.

Her funeral was on May the 20th, at Riccarton Parish Church, with lots of her friends there - some from church, others from golf, others from Bridge, and many just because they loved granny. I read out my memories of granny, determined that I wouldn't cry because I really did want everyone to hear what a wonderful granny she was. The cremation was at the most beautiful crematorium in Irvine, and we sang lovely hymns, then went on to the Loch Green for tea and whisky and a lot of talking.

I miss granny and grandad so much - but I have many many happy memories, and I am a better person for all the love and simple joy they gave me.