Granny Vi

In March I visited Granny Vi for the last time. I spent a week in Kilmarnock, visiting her a couple of times a day at the nursing home where she was being cared for. She was very weak, and I spent a lot of time holding drinks or feeding her bits of cheese or melon. We spent our time chatting, laughing, going through a photo album and reminiscing.

I'd seen granny back in November but at that point she was unwell and we didn't know what was wrong or how to help. I didn't get to spend much time with her, and it was distressing seeing her so unhappy and unwell.

This time it was different. Although occasionally granny was asleep when I visited, during most of our visits she was awake, and her pain was well-controlled, and we got to spend out time close together.

I told granny how much I loved her, how happy she made us as children and adults, and how much we'd all learnt from her. She asked a lot about the children. I can't really describe how it was - I knew it was my last week with granny, and I wanted to spend every moment with her.

We gave her sips of whisky, and I got to know the staff who were caring for her. Occasionally she would get distressed because of the pain, or the indignity of it all, and once or twice she asked us if she would die soon, and we told her she had cancer. But mostly we just sat close to her so she could see and sense us, and talked loudly so she could hear us, and did what we'd always done with granny - had a lovely time.

I last saw her on the last day of March, before my flight back to Boston, then I cried most of the flight home.

She died the day after Mark's 8th birthday, on May the 4th, peacefully and quietly, with Mum and Mike and Bobby there. It was Mark's birthday party that day, so we got through the day - I'd said my goodbyes to granny already so I suppose for me there was mostly a sense of relief that she wasn't suffering any more.

Her funeral was on May the 20th, at Riccarton Parish Church, with lots of her friends there - some from church, others from golf, others from Bridge, and many just because they loved granny. I read out my memories of granny, determined that I wouldn't cry because I really did want everyone to hear what a wonderful granny she was. The cremation was at the most beautiful crematorium in Irvine, and we sang lovely hymns, then went on to the Loch Green for tea and whisky and a lot of talking.

I miss granny and grandad so much - but I have many many happy memories, and I am a better person for all the love and simple joy they gave me.